PLAYER PROFILE

Exaggeration, blatant lies and a smattering of the truth, each month we bring you a not-so-serious profile of the 'stars' of Redmires Football Club.........

 

Luke Siggs Circus Boy Siggs is the official joker of Redmires Football Club, where he is affectionately known to his team mates as the Bearded Clown. Originally part of a famous family circus act, laugh-a-minute Luke joined Redmires three years ago when he found that his size 12 clowns feet were the ideal assets of a top class striker. Despite his footballing prowess, Siggs is first and foremost a walking comedy show and he will go to any length to get a laugh. His most recent (and well appreciated effort) was to buy a Clowns Car (see below) to travel to matches in. The site of Siggs and his side-kick Tom Lawrence, driving to matches, brings a smile to everyone's faces on a Sunday morning. In the previous two seasons, Siggs has been in the shadow of former striker  Pete Walton, but since Walton's move to L******s, Siggs has come into his own, having at the time of writing (January 2003), scored in every game this season. However, a cloud of controversy hangs over Siggs' remarkable goal scoring record and rumours abound that dark forces are at work. Siggs has struck up an unlikely allegiance with the team vampire, Ashton Woodhouse and has even passed to him once. During matches, Siggs can often be heard shouting 6-6-6 and last season, a member of the opposition was mysteriously booked when he accused Siggs of trying to summon the devil (FACT).  Anyway, whether Siggs is Charlie Chaplin or the Prince of Darkness remains to be seen, but if he keeps scoring the goals, Redmires don't care. The following information was provided by the clown himself and supplemented by friends, foes and people who have never met him......   Date Of Birth 21.10.1979 Occupation NHS IT Trainer Position Centre Forward & Reserve Keeper Nick Name 'Bigfoot', 'Bighead', 'Annoying T**t.' Pet Name: 'Pooch' - according to his wife. Most Likely To Say....... 'I'm taking it' , 'Siggs, Siggs, Siggs', or '6-6-6' Car Ford Clown Injection. Favourite Footballer Jon Davies Most Memorable Goal To quote the Clown: 'They are all good, so many to choose from, Yorkshire Bank last season - 41.5 yards out or Byron this year - 39.7 yards out'  Ed: (forty one yards - pull the other one Luke) Hobbies Melon Juggling. Favourite Music Chris Isaac, Harry Connick Junior, Beautiful South, all Christmas tunes and....... We're on the Ball (Ant and Dec) Favourite TV Program Friends, Soccer AM. Favourite Film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Favourite Food Cigars, Curry, Ginger Nuts and jelly beans Merits Once won a beauty contest, aged five. Claims To Fame Played in same Brunsmeer team as Chris Sedgewick (Preston NE). Had a trial for Preston at 12 years old. Has never entered Redmires penalty area for fear of a nose bleed.  Suffers panic attacks when it's his round.   Luke Siggs AKA "The Bearded Clown"   What a joker! Damien Twins?.........   Has Dr Voodhausen  taken the souls of the Siggs brothers? Last season's striking partnership (Siggs and Walton) in action......